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The Weekender #2

Date:  Sat, 11th-Dec-2004prevnext

Tags: Humour, Miscellaneous, Windows

Can you believe it? I've actually managed to produce a second post in the critically acclaimed "Weekender" series. Hoorah!

So here we go, a new collection of juicy tidbits collected over the previous week.

Warning: Contains some adult content. May also contain nuts. Contents may have settled in transit. Batteries not included. Consult your doctor if symptoms persist. No electrons were harmed in the production of this post...

Game for a Laugh

8th December, 2004: I enjoyed an evening at the Jongleurs Comedy Club in Leeds. The comedians were excellent, the comedy without respite. I laughed so much, I cried! If you're ever near a Jongleurs, I suggest you get yourself in there for a great (and cheap) night out. Fantastic.

RegEx Generator

A post on Kevin Spencer's weblog introduced me to a incredibly handy little script, by Sean Burke, that takes text input on STDIN and generates a loose RegEx that matches it. Cool!

The Playlist Meme

Rui Carmo is to blame for this. The rules for the Playlist Meme are simple:

  1. Open up the music player on your computer.
  2. Set it to play your entire music collection.
  3. Hit the "shuffle" button.
  4. Tell us the title of the next ten songs that show up (with their musicians), no matter how embarrassing. That's right, no skipping that Carpenters tune that will totally destroy your hip credibility. It's time for total musical honesty. Write it up in your blog or journal and link back to at least a couple of the other sites where you saw this.
  5. If you get the same artist twice, you may skip the second (or third, etc.) occurances. You don't have to, but since randomness could mean you end up with a list of ten song with five artists, you can if you'd like.

Here's my list (embarrasing indeed, but not as bad as it could've been):

  • Domingo (4:33) Yello - Stella
  • Moonraker (3:56) David Arnold - Shaken and Stirred: The David Arnold James Bond Project
  • World on Fire (4:22) Sarah McLachlan - Afterglow
  • Nutbush City Limits (3:44) Tina Turner - Simply the Best
  • Promenade (2:33) U2 - The Unforgettable Fire
  • Picture This (2:59) Blondie - Parallel Lines
  • Pure (3:46) The Lightning Seeds - Like You Do
  • When We Dance (4:18) Sting - Fields of Gold
  • My Heart Can't Tell You No (5:11) Rod Stewart - If We Fall In Love Tonight
  • Crimson Tide (7:33) Hans Zimmer - Crimson Tide

Whilst we're on the subject of memes, I am soliciting photo's of your workspace and computer room. Gabriel-Paul Mihalache wants to see your desktops and Kim Siever wants your mugshots. So what are you waiting for? Get those digital cameras and MP3 players running now...

NT Backup Oddity

The following image is a portion of a screenshot of the Windows XP Backup dialogue window, taken while a backup was in progress.

The Estimated Files and Estimated Bytes values are constantly changing throughout the backup process. Why? Before it begins backing-up files, Windows performs a scan of all the drives and directories that the backup encompasses. Surely it can count the files and maintain an accumulated byte count? In which case, "Estimated" should read "Total" and the files and bytes values should remain static. The current implementation just doesn't make sense.

Cool Browsing

With Firefox's reliable pop-up blocker and Neil Jenkins' "Block Ads" CSS (found via Jeffrey Veen), I'm really enjoying browsing the web these days. No pop-ups and virtually no inline advertisments. Total bliss.


Somehow I don't think I'd object too much if I were the subject of such a rumour!

Email Humour of the Week

As usual, I'll end this post with the funniest email I received this week:

Subject: Male comebacks (one for the boys at last)!

Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.
Man: Really? I heard it was because everyone there calls you a fat slut.

Man: Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.
Man: There's no need to get on your knees and suck me off just yet.

Man: Your place or mine?
Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.
Man: That's cool, 'cause after I'm done shagging you in the back of my car, I don't give a shit where you go.

Man: So, what do you do for a living?
Woman: I'm a female impersonator.
Man: That explains the moustache then!

Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?
Woman: Unfertilised.
Man: No problem, I'll just shoot my load up your arse.

Man: I would go to the end of the world for you.
Woman: But would you stay there?
Man: Probably, 'cause you seem like the kind of chick that is impossible to shake off once you've been shagged.

Man: Would you like to dance?
Woman: I'd rather eat glass.
Man: I think you mis-heard me. I said you look fat in those pants.

Man: Where have you been all my life?
Woman: Fortunately, somewhere else.
Man: Just as well 'cause I've been shagging your mum while your dad watches.

Man: You're pretty
Woman: Piss off.
Man: Don't interrupt, You're pretty... ugly, you fat bitch.


The title photograph was sourced via morgueFile.

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